Additional Information:

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years, I’ve been unhappy in our marriage for the past 4 years. We have agreed to get divorced.  He is a successful CFO of a Worcester, Massachusetts based company and is very powerful and influential.  Given his personality, do I have any hope that divorce mediation will be successful?

ATTORNEY ANSWER:

Divorce mediation can still be successful.  You should share your concerns about your husband’s stature and personality with the mediator in your husband’s presence so that your feelings can taken into consideration.  Many successful mediations involve couples with different or asymmetric strengths and weaknesses.

Additional Information:

My husband and I have been married for 4 years.  We rent an apartment in Chatham, MA, have no kids and few assets.  We agreed to mediate our divorce, but can divorce mediation be successful if my husband has been physically threatening to me?

ATTORNEY ANSWER:

No one should feel physically threatened in mediation or in a relationship.  If your safety is at risk, you should consider a restraining order.  Go to a courthouse near you or to the police. If you’re not sure about this, talk to a lawyer with family law experience.  It’s unlikely that mediation would be successful in a threatening environment.

Additional Information:

We have been divorced since 2008 with shared custody.  My ex-husband was supposed to see our son every other weekend and he saw him for 2 weekends and hasn’t seen him since.  My son and I live in Worcester, MA and I recently found out my ex moved to Mexico.  Since he moved and hasn’t seen my son for 2 1/2 years, I decided to get a modification in which I’m asking for sole legal custody. We had a mediation in which he did appear saying that he has seen his son recently which is a total lie.  We have a court date coming up and I don’t know what the judge might rule. I’m not closed to the option of him seeing his son but I’d rather have sole custody because to my son he is a total stranger.

ATTORNEY ANSWER:

The court will consider any reasonable visitation schedule proposed by the parties jointly or separately.  Predicting the outcome when one party lives in Mexico is impossible. You may need counsel at the upcoming hearing.   If your husband is lying in mediation, that should be addressed with the mediator.  Mediation requires complete honesty to be successful.

Additional Information:

My husband and I are getting divorced and have both agreed to go through divorce mediation.  It seems that’s the only thing we can agree on.  He already has his own apartment in Shrewsbury, MA, but we can’t agree on how many nights our children can stay over with him.  I think they should be in their own familiar home until everything is sorted out.  In general, how long will mediation take and what would you advise we do in the meantime while we’re figuring things out?

ATTORNEY ANSWER:

The amount of time for mediation varies with the number of issues to be resolved and the ease or difficulty with which the parties address those issues.  The mediator can help the parties focus, but, in the end, it’s the parties who control this.  I have two recommendations.  You and your husband can begin mediation by limiting the subject to parental visitation.  Unless there are safety issues for the children, there should be visitation by the father, including overnights, while the mediation continues.  To wait for final resolution gives you a de facto veto over visitation by dragging out the procedure.  Or, if you and the father cannot agree, you can file for divorce and move for temporary orders so that a judge can hear your respective positions on visitation, then rule accordingly.  Once the temporary orders are in place, the mediation can take place with much less pressure on either party.

Additional Information:

My husband and I have been married for 8 years.  We live in Marlborough MA with our 2 children.  We are considering divorce mediation but aren’t sure if it’s “right” for us.  How do we know if divorce mediation is “right” for us?

ATTORNEY ANSWER:

Divorce mediation is a low-cost, civilized way to discuss and resolve issues prior to filing for a divorce.  Unless you and your spouse are in “War of the Roses” mode, there is nothing to be lost in attempting divorce mediation to address at least some of the divorce issues.  Usually a couple can move on from relatively easy issues to the more difficult ones once a discussion pattern has developed.  Even if the divorce mediation fails, you have lost only time and some relatively small fees.  Couples can always revert back to the traditional, costly adversarial process.

ATTORNEY ANSWER:

Parker Mediation provides mediation services for folks that are separated geographically.  We use conference calling, Skype, or video conferencing, depending on the technological access for the distant party.   The mediation process is the same, the parties work together and the mediator assists the parties in constructive conversation in order to reach a solution that is fair and equitable, and satisfactory for both participants.   When agreement is reached, documents are shipped out for signatures and then returned for filing with the court.

Additional Information:

I am a Marine and I filed for a uncontested divorce. I don’t want anything in the house at all. I don’t want to fight about a thing. We have a 17 month old daughter. I informed her of our mediation at the legal office on base. She called me 3 days before the appointment to tell me that she would not be there or do anything I ask of her towards the divorce. So, I am going to show up to mediation and have everything all figured out in my head but no spouse to talk things through. What happens next?

ATTORNEY ANSWER:

The mediation process is voluntary; parties attend and participate in the mediation sessions of their own volition. If your spouse is not ready to come to the table or to discuss the issues in good faith, you will want to explore your alternatives. Even if you begin using another system, such as traditional representation, you can always suspend an adversarial process and use mediation at any point. [Read more...]